I love the innovation in today’s world with this current generation. They have a ton of creativity to be shared. Rather it’s through various styles of art, entertainment or technology it’s an exciting time despite the adversity in our communities with this huge relationship gap that exists between the young and older.
Mommy you don’t understand, daddy you just don’t get it……..
, grandma your old school, Pastor Jones I don’t understand the words that be coming out of your mouth! Have you ever heard that from your child or any teenager?
Are they disrespectful, no listening, smart mouth and Smartphone walking beings that you can’t seem to relate with?
You might ask yourself, how do I stay relevant with this NEW GENERATION without compromising my values as a parent or leader?
I often wonder why we struggle with relating with our children in today’s time. Why do they seem so oddly different then when we were growing up? Or are they?
Answers somebody!!!
As a father of five children the question I ask myself all the time is, am I connecting and if not, HOW DO I?.
We invest time, energy, money, sleepless nights in thought about the success of our children but something doesn’t always feel right and it won’t. It appears their friends have more influence than we do. Do they respect us AT ALL? Are we being relevant enough?
I’m learning and realize daily the expense to our families over decades when television raises our children just as it did in the 80’s, or video games in the 90’s, now the new millennials have the Smartphone and social media to add to the others previously mentioned.
There’s more conversation, respect and admiration for those on snap chat or YouTube than in your own home. How did this happen we ask?
I recall growing up in the 80’s in Long Island, New York before video games consumed our lives. We went outside and played in the streets, on the local basketball courts and in our neighbor’s backyard which was all too common. We would take bike rides all around the neighborhood visiting other friends and what was then the latest bike accessory or the coolest new basketball move. We even modeled who had the best hip hop dance move or rhyme after watching “YO! MTV RAPS.” Sounds familiar? My mother would scream “Turn of that TV and finish your homework or take out the trash followed by “how many times do I have to say to you FINISH YOUR CHORES.” My parents did well but it was the community that helped relieve some of their stress.
Now we’re grown with our own children and we wonder what happened. We were like the millennials to our parents in the 80’s, disconnected, distant, and unmotivated in many aspects and definitely needing guidance from someone we could relate to about our values and the future. We needed someone who could talk our language and still check us with the truth. Also, someone who knew how to have fun but commanded respect through proper engagement and had our backs.
I remember among our gap at home there were always local heroes or what some may call role models or community leaders that were like big brothers, mentors or uncles that were on the basketball courts or even took time to ride bikes with us. They would teach us the power of respect, honor and appreciation. They would teach us what it really meant to say, “Good looking out.”
As I’ve gained the responsibility of being a parent and remembering my mentors of old and now, I realize the importance of filling in the relationship gap. Parents and children today face many distractions and false void fillers disguised as a happy world one with little principle values and boundaries.
My mentors, as I would refer to them, emerged from different places and perspectives at pivotal times in my life to take over where one was leaving off. They taught me fundamental principles of sustaining relevancy in my own life and in the life of others. Some of those lessons were taught by getting my behind kicked in a loving way to learn respect. I honor all of them for making me a better me despite our differences!
I’d like to share the principle commonalities they taught.
7 keys to Sustain and Develop THE ART of RELEVANCY.
Here they are:
They might say something like this. Daniel this is what you must do!
- Understand the importance of PRINCIPLES- Principles are given to us from the creator as laws of the universe that can be used for your benefit or detriment. They are changeless and must be considered, learned and mastered in order to achieve any level of success in life, continuously! Principles like, “What you soe you reap.” Then they would explain to me what they meant and give me real life examples that included them being transparent about loses and wins they had in life. Another good one was “Honor your mother and your father.” That was the easiest and hardest because I loved my parents but they didn’t understand me! “Stay out the streets and get your education.”Something in my heart told me they were right and they were!
- Identify with your CORE VALUES- What do you value Daniel? I eventually realized 5 key values that helped direct my life’s purpose. Do you value family, relationships, sports, and your future to become somebody? Think about what’s important to you and why!
- PRIORITIZE your values- are you putting things of materialism before family or spirituality? They would show many their wounds and remind me that God, health and family was true wealth. I would be asked these things to help direct my internal compass and challenge the intent of my hearts desires to see if they were congruent with my values.
- GOALS time- they didn’t always mean basketball points as a goal but goals that I needed to set to obtain a balance and successful life according to the values I prioritized. I had to set measurable goals that would eventually help me arrive and start over again with a new goal.
- What’s YOUR WHY Daniel? What will keep you committed to your responsibilities and goals when you feel like life isn’t working but it really is you just have to learn the principle of perseverance. They would say that my WHY had to be something much bigger then myself. It had to become something I’m passionate about which would ultimately become my life’s purpose connecting me to destiny.
- Now FOCUS on your goals and values- Focusing on something different then what your habits and brain has been trained to do can be quite the experience and painful. So many distractions will attempt to get you to thwart your new plan or goal. The key is being intentional and allowing your mentor to hold you accountable by sharing with him or her, whom you trust, your goals while they help you gain clarity.
- MANAGE your TIME wisely- It’s the most precious commodity. All the other steps hinge on this one principle and they become irrelevant if this principle isn’t honored. We have one life to live on earth and every opportunity with our children and those we love helps develop a stronger relationship and bond with respect, honor and appreciation, but we must live it ourselves!
They taught me that success breeds success when taught transparently and from a place of authenticity. Meaning, be what you were created to be and you will be respected. Live and continue to grow and learn from those who live honestly and succeeded and you will succeed. Allow God to lead first as you learn from His messengers and you will become a great and RELEVANT leader to those you love most and beyond!
Remember, Your Epic Life is NOW!
-Daniel Shorter III